well, I don't know how many of you actually paid attention to this subject in previous journals, but for a long time I was smoking pot. About a week and a half ago, when I went to my doctor who refills my medication (as in pills for my mood disorder) he suggested I get clean. So he gave me a number to call, which I did, and as of earlier this week, I've started going to group meetings. I know it's good for me, especially knowing I have support from the other people in the groups.
My last smoke was last Friday, which means I've been sober for one week today. I admit I still have a slight urge to get stoned, but that's probably just because I'd been in the habit of doing so when Mom's not around. Really the only thing keeping me from doing it (aside from lack of resources and money) is knowing I have to keep clean for the groups. We each tell the counselor our clean date, and if I were to somehow get stoned, I'd have to start all over.
Plus I know that if I stay off it, finding a job will be that much easier. Of course I already mentioned to the counselor that I would wait until it's been 30 days, just to make sure it's completely out of my system, before I try harder to find work. That way I won't risk having to drug test before I'm completely clean, and getting a job will be easier.
I don't really know why I'm telling you guys all this. I guess maybe if I had support from people besides the groups, it'll make it that much less hard on me. I know a lot of you probably don't approve of stoners, which, I'm guessing, is why no one commented in the journal I made a few months ago about getting my cannabis card. Not that I blame ya.
I think the hardest part of this, is knowing some of my friends in real life still smoke. I know my brother definitely does. -_-
*sigh* even though I liked being stoned, I didn't like being a stoner. It's a part of my life that I struggle with emotionally. I both like and hate it...